A DICTIONARY FOR MOMS
AMNESIA: Condition that enables a woman who has gone through childbirth to make love again.
One who asks if the kids would care to order dessert.
FAMILY PLANNING: The art of spacing your children the proper distance apart
to keep you on the edge of financial disaster.
FEEDBACK: The inevitable result when your baby doesn't appreciate the strained carrots.
FULL NAME: What you call your child when you're mad at him.
GRANDPARENTS: The people who think your children are wonderful even though
they're sure you're not raising them right.
HEARSAY: What toddlers do when anyone mutters a dirty word.
IMPREGNABLE: A woman whose
memory of labor is still vivid.
INDEPENDENT: How we want our children to be as long as they do everything we say.
OW: The first word
spoken by children with older siblings.
PUDDLE: a small body of water that draws other small bodies wearing dry shoes into it.
OFF: a child who is more talented than yours.
STERILIZE: what you do to your first baby's pacifier by boiling it and to your last
baby's pacifier by blowing on it.
TOP BUNK: where you should never put a child wearing Superman pajamas.
TWO MINUTE WARNING: when
the baby's face turns red and he begins to make those familiar grunting noises.
VERBAL: able to whine in words.
WHODUNIT: none of
the kids that live in your house.
WEEKEND: when Dad gets to play golf while Mom catches up on the laundry, cleans the house, runs
If you have a word/phrase and definition you would like to add Mom's Dictionary, please send it via e-mail.