Rule #1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down.
don't hear us complaining about you
leaving it down.
Rule #1. Sometimes we are not thinking about you. Live with it.
Rule #1. Sunday = sports.
It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
Rule #1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are
never going to think of it that way.
Rule #1. Crying is blackmail.
Rule #1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear
on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work! Just say it! We'll get it for you, just TELL US WHAT THE %#@& YOU WANT!!!
We don't remember dates. Mark birthdays and anniversaries on the calendar. Remind us frequently
Rule #1. Most guys own three pairs of shoes. What makes you think we'd be any good at choosing which
pair, out of
30, would look good with your dress?
Rule #1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question. Please pick one.
Rule #1. Come to
us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your
girlfriends are for.
Rule #1. A headache that lasts for seventeen months is a problem. See a doctor.
Let us know about that funny noise in your car engine as soon as you hear it.
Rule #1. Anything we said six months ago is inadmissible
in an argument. In fact all comments become null and void
Rule #1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.
If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the
Rule #1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
Rule #1. Christopher
Columbus did not need directions, and neither do we.
Rule #1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like the early Windows default
settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a
color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what Mauve or Chartreuse is.
Rule #1. If it itches, it will
be scratched. Without apology.
Rule #1. We are not mind readers and we never will be. Our lack of mind-reading ability
is not proof of how little we
care about you.
Rule #1. If we ask "What's wrong?" and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but
it's just not worth the hassle.
Rule #1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't
want to hear.
Rule #1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really, you look great!!!
#1. It is neither in your best interest nor ours to take a quiz together. No, it doesn't matter which quiz.
Rule #1. Football
is as exciting for us as handbags are for you.
Rule #1. I AM in shape. ROUND is a shape.
Rule #1. Thank you for
reading this. Yes, we know, we will have to sleep on the couch tonight, but did you know we
really don't mind? It's kind of like camp.